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‘’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

The only sound to be heard was the “click” of my mouse.

Some brew on the Web was my destination that's right,

To see what was suggested for a cold winter’s night.

My children were snuggled so warm in their beds,

My wife was complaining, she’s a wife like I said.

I’d narrowed my choices to a porter, or ale,

Whence begins the strangest part of this tale.

From the roof up above, was a “Bang” and a “Crash”

I jumped from my desk, making a living room dash

As I arrived at the hearth there was a sight and great sound

Saint Nick popped from the chimney with a stumbling bound

He lurched to and fro, toting a great sack,

He yawned and stretched and twisted his back.

Santa glanced at the cookies children set by the fire,

He noticed the milk, without a hint of desire.

He examined the goodies, and then looked at me,

He dropped his great sack, nearly knocking over my tree!
After hours aloft my whislte is dry
Is there another alternative that I might try?

After all I am an ancient, two thousand years old!

How ‘bout a brew, Miller, Bud, or Olympia Gold.

I don’t want cookies, I’m tired of milk!

He voice was like burlap, nothing like silk

I looked at Santa, “I’m Sorry.” I said

“I’m sorry too, I 'll return to my sled!”

“Wait a moment Santa! I’ll fix ya right up!”

I ran for the fridge to fill him a cup.

Why Santa ol’ chap, I know what we’ll do!

We'll search the web for a recommended brew!

We rushed to the net, we clicked, and we read

Santa was ecstatic but nothing was said.

Now calm down Santa, I said with a grin,

We’ll get you that brew. Where should we begin?

Santa pointed, I clicked, and we were well on our way

From tavern to tavern, we toured all that day,

There were lites, there were darks, and some pilsners, too

At Yee Ole Blarney Stone, we sampled some brew!

We narrowed it down to an old Irish porter,

So I rushed to my fridge to fill Santa’s order.

He popped off the top, sniffed it, then drank,

Those experts weren’t kiddin’, they know how to rank!

His eyes how they sparkled, his cheeks, how merry,

He belched, then sighed, then grew quite weary.

Then as if by magic he rose in a flash

That's all for tonight, I don't want to crash!

He jumped to his sleigh, and gave me a wink

You’ll get what you need! Thanks for the drink!

And I heard him exclaim, as he tore out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all please drink right!”
(Note this was shared from the web and adapted for sharing.)

Humor Matters™

Steven M. Sultanoff, Ph.D.
Mirthologist and Clinical Psychologist
3972 Barranca Pkwy. Suite J-221
Irvine, CA 92606