HumorMatterstm
Christmas
Holiday Fruitcake
Recipe
1 C Water
1 C Sugar
4 Large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C Brown sugar
Lemon juice, nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the burner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters,
pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway???
Keep checking back.
New humor added every week before Christmas
Jokes
Chrisnukah
Santa's Stats
Santa's Bad Day
Signs of Christmas
Santa's Prayer on Christmas Eve
Politically Correct Christmas Poem
Check
to see who's Naughty or Nice
Martha Stewart's Holiday Countdown
Santa Must Be a Woman & here's proof!
The Night Before Christmas--On the Internet
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
Twas the
Nite before Christmas (A Lawyer's Perspective)
Twas the "Net" before Christmas (A
Computer's Perspective)
The 12 Days of Christmas,
Presents and All
For Christmas humor that is of a mildly
"adult" nature click here.
For a listing of the "Twas the...
alternatives click
here
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