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Christmas

Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, 
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza

Sorry for the delay...our Legal Department just 
approved the following Holiday Greeting:

To All HumorMatters Readers:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have
helped make America great, (not to imply that America is
necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the
western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age,
physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual
orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any
of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of
the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.