Signs of the Times
A movie marquis:
Up in Smoke
The theater was gutted from a fire!!
Submitted by Yvonne W.,Denver, PA 05/06/02
Sign on an elevator in West Chester
Shared by Alex C.
In case of fire do not use elevator, use water.
Sign in Chattanooga, Tennessee
Shared by "Jollyfolk"
For those who wont take life sitting down
from a Dentist's Office
Shared by Marcella
Any other Services, we charge
Signs from England
Sign in a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines:
Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out!
Sign in a London department store:
|Bargain basement upstairs
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining
Board on a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft.
Please use side door.)
Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening.
It will remain closed after being opened.
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch:
If not back by five, out for dinner also
Outside a disco:
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town.
Sign warning of quicksand:
Any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the district council
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of
Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps.
Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
Sign on a repair shop door:
We can repair anything.
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below
Sign in Egyptian hotel:
If you require room service,
please open door and shout,
Signs from Businesses
Seen on a garbage truck
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back"
Side of a manure truck
At one of our local cemeteries theres a big
"DRIVE CAREFULLY- WE CAN WAIT!"
Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA
"Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee)
"Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
In a grocery store:
"snickers, 5 for 1.00$.(limit 4)"
On a dock in Juneau, Alaska:
"Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
Emergency Evacuation Plan:
"Run like Hell!"
Billboard sign on a highway outside of Austin, TX:
"Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"
Parking for drive-through window
Location: McDonald's in Pleasant Hill, CA
Submitted by: Marilyn S. 4/01
se habla englis
(we speak English)
Location: An automotive shop in Dallas TX
Submitted by: Mike K. 4/01
Cruise Ships: Use
Location: Interstate 5 Just north of San Diego, CA
Submitted by Steve S.
Satellite Parking: Next
(Have you seen many satellites lately?)
Location: Access Road to Baltimore Washington International Airport
Submitted by Mark S.
Children left unattended will be towed at the owner's expense.
Location: Fat Freddies Restaurant, Costa Mesa CA
Submitted by Chris O.