“My belief is that we are going to eventually discover that the most dramatic health
benefits of humor are not in laughter, but in the cognitive and emotional management
that humorous experiences provide. The experience of humor relieves emotional
distress and assists in changing negative thinking patterns.”
Steven M. Sultanoff, Ph.D.

Notable Quotables 2001

1998 Quote of the Week

1999 Quote of the Week

2000 quote of the week

For the week of December 2, 2001

From former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

For the week of November 18, 2001

Perhaps with Harry Potter opening nationwide this week the following quote in a newspaper ad might be appropriate

One free child with the purchase of a full-price admission.

For the week of November 11, 2001

From a North Devon Journal in the United Kingdom

Flashers will be exposed, pledge police

For the week of November 4, 2001
from a billboard in the Philippines

Drive Carefully.

Your lovers are waiting for you .

For the week of October 28, 2001

From a sign in a Maine Restaurant

Open 7 days a week and weekends

For the week of October 21, 2001
In honor of the Baseball playoffs and the continuing New York magic we have a "Yogism."

A sports reporter who was assigned some years ago to the New York Yankees noticed that Yogi Berra's suitcase was long overdue for the junk heap. "Why don't you treat yourself to a new suitcase?" he asked Yogi.  "What for?" said Yogi. "The only time I ever use it is when I travel."

For the week of September 30, 2001
As you heal from the deep pain and sadness of recent events and when you are ready to laugh, perhaps the words of George Bernard Shaw may offer some comfort:

Life does not cease to be funny when someone dies, anymore than is ceases to be serious when someone laughs.

For the week of September 23, 2001
 Given the national spirit of the last two weeks Sir Winston Churchill's quote comes to mind:

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees
the opportunity in every difficulty.

For the week of September 9, 2001
From Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, BUT only enough blood to run one at a time.

For the week of September 2, 2001

George Bush, US President

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them.

For the week of August 26, 2001

From an Arab News Report

We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather.

For the week of August 19, 2001

A Batman Costume warning label

Caution: 
Cape does not enable user to fly.

For the week of August 12, 2001

Ivan Boesky, inside stock trader

What good is the moon if you can't buy or sell it?

For the week of August 5, 2001

A congressional candidate in Texas

That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

For the week of July 8, 2001

While I do not know who Douglas Adams is, he is credited with the following insight on the nature of the universe.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

For the week of June 31, 2001
Here's another Yogism from the famous Yankees Catcher

A nickel ain't worth a dime any more.

For the week of June 24, 2001

From Hall of fame pitcher, Bob Feller referring to his autobiography:

You won't find a single four-letter word in there.  I don't go for that bull#*%*

For the week of June 17, 2001

With both Mother's Day and Father's Day Celebrations we look to golfer Greg Norman quoted while accepting an award.

I'd like to thank my parents and my mother and father.

For the week of June 10, 2001
From Homer Simpson

Marge, it takes two to lie. 
One to lie and one to listen.

For the week of June 3, 2001
As June begins so does the annual "Marriage Season." With that in mind we share the following quote from a Watertown, MA church bulletin.

Irving Jones and Jessie Brown were Married on Oct. 24. So ends a friendship that began in school days.

For the week of May 27, 2001

In honor of Memorial Day this week's quote is from Senator Bob Dole when asked about if American lives were more important than foreign lives.

Life is very important to Americans.

For the week of May 20, 2001

Baseball, Basketball, hockey, etc.  It is a busy sports time of year and that brings us to Dave Garcia, interim manager for the Cleveland Indians.  While deftly explaining why the team had won the the first 7 games of his managerial career he stated:

The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games.


For the week of May 13, 2001

This week's quote requires "considering the source."  
From Jack Nicholson:

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

For the week of May 6, 2001

With Mother's day a week away, this week's quote comes from former Vice President Dan Quayle on relationships between mother and child.

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

For the week of April 29, 2001

Here we are at the begging of the baseball season so it is time for a Yogism.  This quote comes from a telegram sent to catcher Johnny Bench after Bench broke Berra's home run record for catchers.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

For the week of April 22, 2001

From a sign Moscow hotel, referring to visiting the  graveyard in a famous nearly Russian Orthodox monastery

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

For the week of April 15, 2001

A Most Taxing Time

This week's tax quote comes from former New York City Mayor David Dinkins while attempting to answer accusations regarding his failure to pay his taxes.

[Paying taxes] was one of the things I was always going to take care of, but sometimes I did not have all the funds available or I did not have all the documents and other materials I needed.

For the Week of April 1, 2001

Happy April Fools Day.  
This week's quote comes from Floyd Smith (a man of few words) former coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs

I have nothing to say . 
And I'll only say it once.

For the week of March 25, 2001

Given the current state of the stock market, let's hope that this week's political quote from Ron Brown, Democratic National Committee chairman at the 1992 Democratic Convention does not steer us in a bear way.

On behalf of all of you, I want to express my appreciation for this tremendously warm recession.

For the week of March 18, 2001

This week's quote offers a bit of double talk.  It is lifted from the rulebook of a private social club 

No refreshments shall be supplied to any member after the above named hours, and none shall be supplied for consumption off the club premises except to a member on the premises at the time.

For the week of March 11, 2001

Sometimes it really pays to be a lawyer as noted in the following story from the Kansas City Star

A jury awarded the family $1.5 million in compensatory damages and $10 million in punitive damages.  After deducting attorneys' fees and expenses, the family received $4.96 in punitive damages, with the father receiving half and the children splitting the difference

For the week of March 4, 2001

This week's quote comes from Richard Lewis

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but either way you've got flies.

For the week of February 25, 2001
This week's quote comes from comedian Stephen Wright.

"You can't have everything. 
Where would you put it?"

For the week of February 18, 2001

Being President's weekend it seemed appropriate to offer a quote form a former US President.  I am lucky to have the following quote from Thomas Jefferson.

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

For the week of February 11, 2001
This week's quote is a few words of wisdom from Bill Cosby.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.



For the week of January 28, 2001

With the Super Bowl being played today the following quote from a previous "Quote of the Week" deserves repetition.
This quote is from Former Houston Oiler and Florida State Coach Bill Peterson.

Men, I want you just thinking of 
one word all season. 
One word and one word only: 
Super Bowl.

For the week of January 21, 2001
Wirth the inauguration this week, I looked for a Bush/Cheney quote without success.  However I did find an older Bush quote.  With my apologies to Barbara Bush comes this week's quote from her husband.

It has been said by some cynic, maybe it was a former president, "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."  Well, we took them literally--that advice, as you know.  But I didn't need that because I have Barbara Bush.

For the week of January 14, 2001
Stocks go up and down and this week's quote from economist Irving Fisher in a speech made nine days before the 1929 stock market crash speaks to how unpredictable the market can be. 

Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau

For the week of January 7, 2001
from an elevator sign in a Denver office building

Braille instructions.  
Please see below.

For the week of December 31, 2000
On a philosophy of life:

"You can't have everything. 
Where would you put it?"

Stephen Wright

 

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