“My belief is that we are going to eventually discover that the most dramatic health
benefits of humor are not in laughter, but in the cognitive and emotional management
that humorous experiences provide. The experience of humor relieves emotional
distress and assists in changing negative thinking patterns.”
Steven M. Sultanoff, Ph.D.

Notable Quotables 2002

1998 Quote of the Week

1999 Quote of the Week

2000 quote of the week

2001 Quote of the Week

 

For the week of November 3, 2002

With Elections coming up in about a week here's one from the political file:
From Jean Drapeau, Montreal Mayor

That is true---but not absolutely true

For the week of October 13, 2002
In honor of the national pastime and the California Angels comes the following quote from Casey Stengel while comparing the New York Yankees second baseman to the Chicago White Sox Second baseman. The same might have been true of the Angels and Twins prior to the Championship Series.

They are very much alike in a lot of similarities

For the week of October 6, 2002
From Casey Stengel who might have said the following about Angels pitcher Francisco Rodriguez

The guy is 21 now and in 10 years he has a good chance to be 31.

For the week of September 29, 2002
Dan Qualye may not be in the limelight these days but his quotes live on.

When answering a question about the universal health-care plan in Hawaii the former Vice-president said,

Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a---it is different than the other 49 states.  Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation.

For the week of September 22, 2002
Here's one from the game show file.

Richard Dawson (Family Feud Host): 

Name something you might accidentally leave on all night.

Contestant: 

Your shoe

For the week of September 15, 2002
As we near the end of another baseball season here's a little sensitivity for the ever hopeful Cubs fans

From a resident of the Wrigley Field Area

This is no longer a slum neighborhood. 
 
I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time.

For the week of September 8, 2002

From the business card of a restaurant in Decatur, Texas

Mattie's Restaurant and Yogurt Palace

"An Alternative to Good Eating."

For the week of September 1, 2002

From Yogi Berra former Yankee catcher after hearing that Billy Martin had locked his keys in his car

Well, he'll have to call up a blacksmith.

For the week of August 25, 2002
Football Season is upon us.  
Here's the first of this season's football bloopers.
From a sports announcer on KCRB, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

George Blanda kicked a 35-year-old field goal!

For the week of August 18, 2002
From an ad in a Minnesota Lake newspaper

Painting Job this Summer?
Call Howard Herbst for Free Estimates.  
If I'm not at home arrange a date with my wife.

For the week of August 4, 2002
From a news report from a helicopter during a freeway chase.

With a flare for the obvious

The vehicle is occupied by one person, 
who is presumed to be the drive.

For the week of July 28, 2002
Since we are in the heart of baseball season the following quote strikes at umpires. This seems like a perfect meeting place for the umpires
From a Daytona, FL newspaper

The Volusia County Umpires Association, which provides baseball and softball umpires for the city recreation department, is meeting Sunday at 7 p.m. EST at the Florida Regional Library for the Blind.

For the week of July 21, 2002
From Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record. 

For July 4, 2002
Today's quote is borrowed from the Stupid Quotes Calendar

From British Prime minister Lord North (1774), 
on addressing the rebellious American Colonies:

Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.

For the week of June 2, 2002
From former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger-

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

For the week of May 26, 2002
The author of this week's quote is one of the most famous philosophers: Anonymous

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with data.

For the week of May 19, 2002
With the opening of Star Wars 2 comes a more serious quote from the ancient philosopher Yoda.

Do or do not, there is no try.

For the week of May 12, 2002

While the following quote comes from baseball player Mike La Valliere it certainly seems to describe the life of motherhood.

Whatever is going to happen is going to happen when it happens, regardless of what happens.

For the week of May 5, 2002

Former Vice President Dan Quayle offered enough quotes to fill a vice presidency and more.  Here is one of his when speaking to NASA employees

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

For the week of April 28, 2002

While a week or two late for Secretary's Day you may appreciate this ad from the Irondequoit (New York) Penfield Shopper:

Secretaries for opening in college administrative areas. Good typing, word processing helpful. Able to interfere with faculty, staff, and students

For the week of April 21, 2002

From Robert De Niro 

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
 

For the week of March 24, 2002

With Easter approaching comes a serious quote about the Easter egg hunt.
From Warren Buffett
Thanks to Garrett a site visitor who informs me that this quote is originally attributed to Will Rogers

"Put all your eggs in one basket, and then pay very close attention to that basket."

For the week of March 17, 2002
From Earl Wilson

Vacation is time off to remind employees that the business can get along without them.

For the week of March 10, 2002

From Popular Mechanics Magazine March, 1949 
in reference to the future of computers

...computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh only 1 1/2 tons!

For the week of March 3, 2002

This week's quote came to me over the web, but it arrived without a credit.  If you know the original source please share it with me so that I can  offer appropriate credit.

"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."

For the week of February 24, 2002

With upcoming primary elections upon us the words of 
philosopher Homer Simpson seem appropriate:

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is
important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!
Except the weasel."

For the week of February 17, 2002

Here's an old one, but in these times of "trying" travel it is well timed.

From an Arab News Report

We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather.

For the week of February 10, 2002

No wonder you cannot accurately predict the winner of a sporting event just check out these instructions from  Bill Petersona Florida State Football coach

 "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." 

For the week of January 19, 2002

This week's quote is dedicated to the ingenuity of creative marketing

The following is a Gravestone Inscription

Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble Cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars.

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